Sunday, November 13, 2011

A second marriage - PROMISE OF HAPPINESS?

Perhaps it would be good to start answering questions from readers. You know the scheme - Dear Nado, I have such a problem. In fact, recently many of those who read me know how to order the topic you would like to write. They rarely do it, you might have been only once, but this time I will do the same. In fact, I was asked to write something about the second marriage. Except that I competent to write on this subject, I think that is about it a lot to say. And given the likely rate of divorce, will soon be a percentage of other marriages could be higher than the first. I 've already written about marriage, including divorce. As you know, if you follow me, intercede for both. Marriage as a symbol of love, divorce as a lack thereof.

Exploring a little about this subject, I came across the same opinion. Some think that the second marriage partners more tolerant, more mature, more responsible and more prepared to compromise. Thus, the opinion that a second marriage is not necessarily better than the first, but the partners receptive to all the challenges that marriage brings. The other side believes that the second marriage much better, because then the partners know very well what they want, and what does not and what is actually what you 're looking for in a partner, and they provide life-long happiness in marriage.

My attitude is as usual the truth is somewhere in the middle, but if I had to choose one side it would be the latter. After his first divorce, undoubtedly have a great experience. So we know exactly who we are, what we want and what does not. We know that the character trait of partners, it was impossible to live in happiness and peace, and what are the features you need and that we will ever meet. But for me it can not ascertain, nor rationally designed plan. The menu will always point to the life and so marriage is - love!

They say you can not choose with whom we fall in love. With this I agree, but we can choose who and what we dislike about someone. And this needs to know what love is, in general. Although everyone is entitled to their own definition, I think that there is one universal definition that will just about everyone of us happy. Love is a balance and a way of giving and receiving, compatibility, and a deep friendship. This many realize until after the divorce, and often they know that this should just "ask" if you opt for a second marriage.

These links and the first marriage in that kind of love really rare. Do not identify long-term marriage with a happy marriage. Duration has the slightest connection with this. Given that I was seeing, quasi marriages, false happiness, false idyll and divorce where I least expected it, now I begin to believe somehow that they are happily married for only those where both partners are emotionally independent, primarily soul mates themselves, financially independent, social and business individually achieved, without the pressure of family, tradition, finances, or other moments. A recognized you, these really small. But I strongly believe that there are ... Therefore of course I believe in happy marriages, whether first or second. Many believe that they do not exist, simply because they are so easily in their heads. Me so would not be easy, me as a great romance to such insights killed.

Even harder to believe that I stayed in another bad marriage after a poor first. I doubt that many will remain in his second marriage, just to avoid another divorce. I know this will sound strange, but I believe even that is easier to divorce a second time than the first. This, of course, individually, might indeed many other such marriages only so because it is unbearable sense of failure again, but to me it just makes it harder to agree on such an imitation of marriage and love.

Sociological research on this issue are really interesting. Specifically, that men are happier in the first marriage, a woman in another. Men do more work in the first marriage, a woman in another. Therefore it has been proved that the happiest marriages where the man's first marriage, a woman second. I'm not a big supporter of statistics, but this is even logical. Women somehow look a lot more fulfilling to the emotional level, and these men can often neglect the first marriage. In his second marriage, women are likely to be a priority for this category is the redial partners and therefore they will be happier and more fulfilling. Especially if you are a man, which was the first marriage, and who knows, but one did not agree on an emotional desert. Of course, with the assumption that this man is intelligent enough to understand. A majority of women will be the second time just to look. Intelligent emotional.

Although this is a complex issue, actually it all boils down to a simple theory. Other times we are wiser. Oh what the word, few of us doing the same mistake twice. Especially when it comes to love. More mature look at things, our expectations are realistic, preparation for marriage is a serious and emotionally deeper. Actually, everyone should first marriage as well as access to the other. With a serious analysis of themselves and partners. Unfortunately, few of these sages.

I can generally answer the question of whether they are happier in a second marriage than in the first ... but it says a wisdom - Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience, and it seems to me that these people are full of hope, however, know how to truly love someone...

Prof. dr. Nada Bučević


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1 comments:

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