Understanding Women - What Really Turns Us On
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by Felicia Stevenson (writer), Gatineau, Quebec, October 27, 2011
sex , relationships , women , turn ons
Credit: Felicia-May Stevenson
Sparks
Men are visual creatures. They see a beautiful woman: they get turned on. Women are entirely different creatures...
I'm one of those women who love too much. I fall in love quickly, and sometimes have mistaken infatuation for love. I'm 33 and have only been in a committed relationship for about 7 years (on and off, but still)
So while I don't really like to think about it, much less admit to it, and won't share numbers, I guess I've "known" many men.
Throughout those different relationships, some lasting a few months, others up to two years, I've been different sexually with every one of my partners. I've come to realize that I wasn't the problem, various partners were because of the way they acted.
First of all, you have to understand that romance isn't buying flowers or chocolates. Romance, to me, is a series of little attentions. I used to be engaged to a man who never lifted a finger in the house. He would spread his crap all over the kitchen table and plop a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the mess. He never understood why I wasn't happier about the flowers, despite the fact that I told him several times that if he really wanted to please me, all he had to do was CLEAN a little. If he'd only done that, I would have jumped his bones in a flash and rocked his world.
I got to be so resentful of his laziness and lack of effort, there came a point where sleeping with him was a chore, not something I enjoyed.
Second, there was one guy who would get mad at me and sulk until I would give in. I felt like I was being raped, and needless to say, all attraction was slowly killed. You must understand that while sex is mainly physical to you, to us, it's also about a much deeper connection. So if you've been grumpy all day, don't expect us to feel all warm and fuzzy when we climb in to bed.
Third, we are not sexual objects, so don't treat us as such. There have been men that I couldn't even get dressed in front of without being jumped. Using excuses like: "You're too beautiful, I can't control myself" really doesn't work for me either. I've heard that way too many times. Control yourself. You are not an animal. If you keep acting like one, she's going to run away. Do not ogle us all day, make sexual "joke" advances constantly, touch us in private areas randomly. It's annoying and a MAJOR turn-off. If you are feeling that randy... take matters "into your own hands". so to speak. We are not responsible for your every desire.
Fourth, begging is NOT attractive, and I truly don't think this requires much elaboration.
Fifth, and also very important, jealousy is an ugly monster, and you look like one when you act that way. I'm a pretty girl (not to be vain), but if you thought so when you met me, then other men will too, obviously. It's not my fault I turn heads every where I go, so don't start getting angry or grumpy with me because of it. You should be proud. I've chosen you. I want to be with you. I'm loyal to you. Look the guy in the eyes, and give him a nod, silently saying "that's right buddy, she's with me. Eat your heart out."
In conclusion, if you want to be sexy, and really turn on a woman, cook her a meal, wash the dishes, take the kids to the park so she can get a few minutes to herself, don't pester her all day. And then, when the timing is right, push her up against a wall and kiss her hard and passionately. She'll be butter in your hands. If you're trying to pick up a new girl, don't use some corny line. Don't go up to a group and start flirting equally. It makes it seem like your saying "is anyone game? I'm not difficult." Decide which girl you want, single her out and make her feel special. Good Luck!
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Kissesssssssss
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